


All You Want

by hoywfiction



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cute Ending, Fetus Direction, M/M, Pining Zayn, Posting my old unpublished works, Set early on in the band days, The Larry is background but yes I ship it hardcore, Zayn-centric, focused on the time Zayn and Liam kissed and the time Liam cried on the phone with Zayn, zayn is whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoywfiction/pseuds/hoywfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And it's alright babe,<br/>There are worse ways of feeling pain.<br/>I'm alright with suffering<br/>If this is why I'm hurting.<br/>I'm alright with bleeding<br/>If it's my love for you spilling out.</p><p>And even though she's in your heart<br/>I'm alright with you in mine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All You Want

> _You won't know,_  
>  _Don't think you ever will._  
>  _I know that you love her,_  
>  _You tell me you do;_  
>  _Who am I to get in the way?_
> 
> _You won't ever love me,_  
>  _Not like that at least._  
>  _But I'll always love you_  
>  _In exactly that way._  
>  _But since I do,_  
>  _I won't drive her away;_  
>  _I'll stay your best friend like I should be._
> 
>  
> 
> _And it's alright babe,_  
>  _There are worse ways of feeling pain._  
>  _I'm alright with suffering_  
>  _If this is why I'm hurting._  
>  _I'm alright with bleeding_  
>  _If it's my love for you spilling out._
> 
> _And even though she's in your heart_  
>  _I'm alright with you in mine._

 

Zayn quickly changed the pronouns before hurrying downstairs to meet up with the other lads. Him, being Zayn, had forgotten that he was supposed to have a piece of a song to propose for the album by today. He figured that a piece of one he'd written a long time ago would suffice. (It was unlikely they'd use it anyways, he thought simply.)

He was right. He was praised for it, but the tune he envisioned it in was just too different from their style of music. He understood. Besides, he wasn't sure he wanted it on the album anyways. It was hard enough pining after a certain boy in the room already; he didn't really need a reminder of it at every concert.

 

 

They were just playing around, wrestling with one another. Harry and Louis were cuddled up on the sofa, Harry in the older lad's lap and drifting off to sleep somehow despite the chaos. Zayn had Niall pinned down; he wasn't ever getting away! Muhahaha!

"You're trapped, Ni!" he exclaimed triumphantly before tickling him. He burst into wild laughter, flailing and trying to get his mate off of him, to no avail. Until someone came to rescue him that is. Next Zayn knew he was being lifted off the Irish boy and put on his feet. He spun around, and was greeted by a falsely stern Liam.

"Not nice to torment poor Nialler, Zee," he said with an overly exaggerated pout, shaking his finger at him. Zayn put on an angry face and puffed up his chest, getting closer to him.

"Oh yeah?" he said, trying to seem all big, as if he were gearing for an actual fight. He got in his face, but of course, Liam started giggling. In that way where his eyes crinkled at the corners, and his whole face lit up, and, well, he looked adorable. "Come on, then. Come on."

Liam kept laughing, glancing at Zayn like he was the sun or something. And Zayn wasn't even thinking, but he just did it. He leaned forward and kissed him.

Before Liam could react he sprang away, laughing, going back to takle Niall back into the pile of pillows they'd built up on the floor. His heart was thundering in his chest, and it didn't help when he caught Louis' knowing smirk out of the corner of his eye. Liam went on as usual, as if nothing had happened, and went over to Louis to offer to help carry their now slumbering bandmate off to bed.

"Okay, Zaynie?" Zayn looked over at Niall, who was lying on the pillow mountain beside him, Zayn's arm over his chest. His bluer than blue eyes were staring right back, a hint of concern in their depths. He just nodded, he was fine.

Fine, but also two steps away from ripping his own hair out of his head strand by strand.

 

 

He thinks it was maybe because of all the shit going on in his life that he told Liam. He was already suffering, why not throw some more onto the pile, right? So he told him, the night before he went back home for his grandfather's funeral.

"It doesn't matter though," he said, teary eyed and his voice choked with tears. He turned to leave, turned to go before he could be told how he was a freak. Or even worse; before Liam could let him down easy.

"What? Of course it matters! Zayn!" Liam grabbed hold of his arm before he could completely slip out into the hall, pulling him back in and closing it, back against the only way Zayn could escape. "Will you listen to me? Please?"

His heart leapt into his throat, tears stinging his eyes as they forced their way onto his cheeks. If he were in the mood for humour he'd point out how this was like a scene out of some of those horrible romance movies he and Liam sometimes spent all night watching on the tour bus for no reason at all. But Zayn really wasn't in jovial spirits right now. He shook his head, moving the other boy out of his way and going out again, not daring to turn and look back. If only he were a stupid girl with big stupid hair and could dance... Then maybe he would have a chance with Liam. But since Zayn wasn't Danielle, he knew he never would. He knows now that this wasn't the case, but back then, it was the reason he left the boy he had just confessed his love to standing dumbfounded in his doorway, and didn't even say goodbye to him before getting on a plane the next morning.

 

 

Zayn realised that maybe he was wrong in his thoughts when he was coming back to the boys. He was on the phone with Louis, telling him he'd be back in maybe a few hours.

"How'd it all go?" asked Niall, making Zayn believe he was probably on speaker.

"Um, alright I guess." How were you supposed to explain how a funeral was?

"Did you say hi to your family for us?" That was Harry. He had to smile a little at that as he was walking through the terminals, trying to find his way to baggage claim. He had some security with him, but they were about as useful with navigating as he was.

"I did," he responded, taking a left at the C wing.

"Who's that?" someone said, and the smile on his face dropped as he heard the voice in the background of the call.

"It's Zayn," Niall called over to him, and for a second there was silence. Until Niall broke it. "Li?"

"Can I... Can I talk to him please?" Zayn couldn't understand why Liam sounded so off to him.

"Well yeah, that's what we're doing..." Louis mumbled.

"No, I... Alone? Please?" That was why; Liam was crying, or at least was going to start. Zayn could hear it in his voice, the way it quivered slightly in the middle of his words, the way he paused.

"Alright, Liam?" Harry asked worriedly.

"Fine, yeah I'm fine," he responded, and Zayn heard the door close in the background; He took another left, following an arrow that had luggage on it. As he was making his turn, he heard Liam hiccup on the end of the line. He kept walking, but he wasn't paying attention to where he was going anymore. His security practically played 'pass the Zayn' to keep him out of the way of other people.

"Babe, what's wrong?" he demanded, alarm coming out in his tone.

"I... I miss you," Liam choked out, and really, Zayn's heart completely melted.

"I miss you too," he said softly, pressing the phone closer to his ear. He suddenly wanted to get back to the boys even more than earlier.

"No like... I really miss you. And I thought you were angry with me, and I—"

"Wait, why would I be angry with you?" Zayn asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Liam sniffled, and though Zayn couldn't see him he knew he was wiping tears off his face.

"I don't know. You left without saying anything, you wouldn't answer my texts, I don't know. I'm sorry," he explained, and Zayn never felt like more or an arse than right then.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you Li, I promise." He felt himself starting to tear up some, but he couldn't cry right here in the airport. He couldn't draw that attention to himself.

"I..." Liam sniffled again, then took a breath. "I love you."

And the way he said it made Zayn think that maybe this was different than the other times he'd ever said it. So if a tear or two did roll down his cheek, it wasn't his fault really.

"I love you too."

And suddenly, Bradford wasn't home anymore. 'Home' was whispering, "I'm _in_ love with you, Zaynie," over the phone... As cliché as it was, 'home is where the heart is' had never rung more true.


End file.
